BB Blog

Link to Matt Bors blog entry:

http://www.mattbors.com/2009/02/future-of-alt-weekly-cartoons.html

So this site is supposed to take a photo of your face and (scientifically?) match it to celebrities within a sliding scale of percentage of resemblance. I uploaded my mug and I get back a bunch of people I have NEVER been mistaken for and some others I don’t even know, I don’t like the outcome of this (J. Edgar Hoover??? Robbie Coltrane??? Are you kiddin’ me???):

So I try a different photo and it comes up with some even older men that I look like and even an old woman!

John Ashscroft???? Jacques Chirac??? Okay, this is ridiculous, I know I look old, but maybe this software is out to get me!!

 So I upload a photo of me, my wife and our daughter at her CATS performance, it recognizes all three faces and makes three different comparison reports. Guess what? My wife, who is actually 4 months older than me looks like a slew of beautiful women!! 

I, however, get these results:

Ike?? Chriac and Coltrane again??? That means it really is true!! I’m only 43 dammit!! I shouldn’t look like the withered old former president of France crossed with freakin’ Hagrid!!!! This site is either full of merde or it’s just cruelly honest. I mean what kind of lopsided results are these?? I know I look older and uglier than my wife, but she’s Pam Anderson and John Travolta’s wife, and I’m some old guy with muttonchops??? I tried the one of my daughter:

MORE cute girls!! At least she was lucky enough to take her looks from her mother’s apparently superior DNA.  Now I have an even worse self-image than usual in my head. I will cheat this time and first load an old photo of me when I was young and fully follicled, before putting the aging alopecia-affected photo up:

80% Johnny Depp??? Now that’s more like it! I’m gonna upload a recent photo now and see what I get ———

.. son of a!! …. great, now they have to go back into the archives before color photography to find anyone resembling me. The sad part about this isn’t how much I’ve aged in the face, but that Johnny Depp is actually a year older than I am!! (On the other hand, Leo DiCaprio showed up in both the old and new photo comparisons. Hmmm.. my wife looks like Kate Winslet and I share features with Leo? We could re-enact Titanic.)

Ahhh, forget it! I’m going with the Johnny Depp one in case anyone asks. (I was really sure I would at least get Bill Murray, maybe even Bob Newhart, Kelsey Grammer or Popeye, but apparently they are too young to resemble me.)

Here’s the morph I chose to use:

MyHeritage: Family tree - Genealogy - Celebrity - Collage - Morph

Toon Weekly challenged us to come up with a new gremlin design. I carefully considered how to best draw one that fully communicated the frustration of having our internet suddenly stop working even though everything is plugged into what it should be and all the lights are lit up where they should be lighted up and the only recourse to fixing the damnable, internets-free state of failed connections and swirling beach balls is to unplug ever dang thang and hope it works once it’s all lit back up again 30 seconds later. After considering all this, I hurried through yet another weak attempt, but again, I ask you, “what do you want for nothing, ingrate??” Behold, my Linksys™ gremlin:

Larger version here. 

… that must mean it’s time for another Mountain Xpress cartoon by me (unless it’s a Wednesday when it’s not time for that.)
Here is this week’s in C O L O R!
 

Sure, I know what you are thinking, “this haul is not totally awesome. It’s not even partially awesome!” Well, that’s where you would be wrong, my friends.

• Hasbro Toy Store sent me this Hydra variant for free plus shipping after I used the $10 off coupon they sent me in December that was set to expire this month.

• THEN at Big Lots I found Justice League Unlimited Teddy Grahams for half price!! I mean it’s Justice League and it’s not even limited!! Plus Wonder Woman flavored Teddy Grahams!!! Come one, that’s gotta be awesome, right there.

• Then to top it all off, thx3188, a fellow Fwoosher possessing a selfless generosity, the like of which I have not been fortunate enough to countenance since Price Nomore (who mailed me FOC the Giant Man piece I was missing by never finding a Thor), freely mailed me the last piece of Ronan I have been in desperate (but not desperate enough to buy a Silver Surfer figure) need of, lo these many moons! This saint of a person would not even accept monetary reimbursement for the postage. Both I and Ronan thank you.

Because of these things, I pronounce this haul, totally awesome! This dramatic re-enactment of how Ronan’s life has been affected is offered as proof and gratitude:How Ronan got his leg back 

Finished a new action figure photo drama today. Re-enacting (sort of) the end of Return of Superman with the Mattell Cyborg Superman and Steel figures and the crummy old DC Direct Kryptonian Life Suit (mullet) Superman. You can see it at the usual action figure comix page of the web site or go to it directly via this link.  

Still catching up on some challenges I missed out on at Toon Weekly. This was my entry for “make yourself a superhero” and my fondest wish for powers comes when I am powerless in traffic and would dearly love the ability to crush a slow moving passing lane gawker or insert a cell phone into the body cavity of some clueless yakker. I was going to call him the Crimson Stroke, but decided on the name……..